You may have noticed that I used two different spellings for the space station in the last chapter. I decided to switch from game manual spelling to the more common spelling (unconsicously, apparently, since I didn`t do the switch on purpose and hadn`t noticed it until I was spell checking that chapter).

I must apologize for the shortness of this chapter but it was important the mood I set up for this be all that this chapter have. I want the particular emotion to sit here and keep it`s level of power.
===============
In their condo, Shadow carries Maria into the bedroom. By this point, she has cried herself to sleep during the trip back. She had taken the news pretty hard. Shadow wonders how she will be after this. He lays her down in the bed and then pulls the blankets up over her. His jacket is still on her, Shadow won`t remove it from her as he`s decided to go ahead and let her sleep with it. She seems to like his jackets anyway. She has shown that by cuddling with them if he were absent.

Shadow steps out of the bedroom, going to the kitchen. He pulls out a cup from the cupboard and then takes out a jug of water from the fridge. He fills the cup with water and puts the jug back in the fridge. Just as he is about to pick up the cup, his cell phone rings. Shadow cringes a little at this. Very few times he`s felt that having a phone has been a good thing. Most of the time it is obnoxious to him. Wishing that he would just be left alone, he pulls out his phone from his pocket. The preview screen shows that it`s GUN calling him. He growls lightly at this.

He is reminded of all the things he had done and what has happened all because of this organization. They forced their way onto the space station, shot many people, including Maria. Then the events that followed...Shadow had forgotten his promise to Maria and was doing the polar opposite of her wish. Shadow grips his ringing cell phone with both hands, beginning to tremble. Destruction...Murder...There has been very little he has done that would be good things in Maria`s eyes. He feels that he has disappointed her and let her down. And all because GUN had messed everything up and drove himself and Gerald insane from Maria loosing her innocent, young life. She wasn`t a threat to anyone but they shot her anyway!

Shadow closes his eyes tightly and reals his arm back, clenching the ringing cell phone tightly in his hand,"Argh!"

He throws the cell phone with force. It goes sailing over top of the breakfast bar and into the living room. The phone finds the wall and slams into it. The force Shadow puts into the throw causes the battery door of the cell phone to pop off. This, in effect, makes the battery fall out, thus ceasing the phone`s life. These separate pieces fall onto the floor. There is silence in the room save for Shadow`s frustrated panting.

He is glaring to the direction where he threw the phone. Dammit all...Maria`s resurrection was supposed to bring light into his life and make him happy for once. Instead he has had to face his past, yet again, and have Maria have to face the ugly truth, to which it seems to have broken her heart. She had to of known he was changed but she surely couldn`t have seen this coming. What does she think of him now? He has bloodied his hands to where he can`t wash himself of. These...awful...terrible crimes he has committed. The only reasons he isn`t in prison like the other criminals is because for one, he`s too fast for the authorities to catch. Two, even if they do catch him, he can either chaos control out or blast his way out. Three, he did somewhat redeem himself by correcting the Ark falling to Earth and repelling the Black Arms alien army. But still...These things don`t erase what has happened. Shadow had put up a strong front in the view of Maria. Yet inside, he is screaming with shame and with the fear of what Maria will do once she has recovered from all this.

Shadow puts the palm of his hand to one side of his face, covering his eye. His uncovered eye looks down to the floor. Will she want to leave him? That thought alone terrifies Shadow. What could he do? Should he try to do something or should he wait and see what Maria will do first? He doesn`t want to loose her again.

He removes his hand from his face and looks over to the bedroom door. Then he brings his arms back and sets his hands on the counter behind him. Letting his body slouch against the counter with his arms for support, Shadow looks at the floor again. Shadow sighs. He still wants to take care of her and make her happy as he had always wanted to do. She was all that mattered to him from the very beginning and she was the motivation for all that he`s done. It was all for her, even the bad things...Him destroying Earth for revenge of her death, believing that was what she wanted, just shows how strong he felt for her, willing to do whatever she wanted. His feelings for her drives him absolutely wild. The silence is broken with Shadow whispering to himself,"(Maria...)"

His red eyes seem to almost glow in the darkness. His eyes lift up, looking to the bedroom door again. Finally, Shadow lifts himself off the counter and he grabs the cup of water. He leaves the kitchen and goes back into the bedroom. Once in there, Shadow sets the cup of water on the dresser beside the bed for convenience. Shadow removes his hover shoes, socks, gloves and shirt. He looks at Maria on the bed. She is still asleep and looks quite sad doing so. This sight causes Shadow to soften up his expression. He doesn`t like seeing her sad. There is a pain inside him that is welling up in his stomach.

Carefully Shadow climbs into the bed and gets beside Maria. He half way feels that he doesn`t deserve to do this tonight...He stays on top of the blankets, as a compromise, for his feelings of whether or not he should be in bed with Maria. He looks to Maria sleeping beside him. The pain in his stomach seems to only get worse. He wraps his arms around Maria and pulls her into him, embracing her. He can`t shake off his fears of how Maria is going to react to the truth of what he`s done. Shadow closes his eyes, tucking his head down a little so that it is close to Maria`s in a fashion that suggests that he is wanting comfort from her. It`s a submissive gesture that he hasn`t done since the Ark. Shadow whispers again,"(Maria...I`m sorry...Please forgive me...I promise...I won`t endanger your planet again...)"

Shame...Ultimate shame grips the Ultimate Lifeform like a vise.

Comments

To leave a comment, you must be logged in.